An NYC Mom’s Guide to Sanity in Stilettos

Laura Bennett may be best known publicly as the sophisticated clothing designer and finalist on season three of Project Runway in 2006. While NYC parents tend to share the Type-A gene in one area or another, Laura Bennett wins the gold.

Take, for example, that we all earn the ”parent” designation by having one child. Laura has six. Gold star. Many of us know how to sew on a button. Laura can sew her family clothes – from scratch. (And star in reality shows and clothe celebs too.) Gold star. Many would consider being employed in one industry as working. Laura has to decide which job she’s going to focus on that day:  architectural design, clothing design, comic strip writer, QVC saleswoman, or perhaps add book author to her list of employable skills . . . and she does it all in her signature classicly sophisticated style.  Someone please hand her a medal already!

When not selling her Laura Bennett Designs on QVC, or penning the Case Clothed comic strip for iVillage, Laura’s preparing to release her book Didn’t I Feed You Yesterday? A Mother’s Guide to Sanity in Stilettos this week. The book hits the shelves on April 6th, and I’m already contemplating what I’ll wear to her book signing at the Borders Time Warner Center Wednesday April 7th at 7 p.m.

The book  reveals a working mother’s philosophy on having a career, raising a family and enjoying life in The Big Apple. What some may consider a laissez- faire approach to parenting, others will read as a humorous and sane guide to having it all. I enjoyed reading  it: I felt more relaxed about my own parenting, and finished the book inspired to put some of my own goals higher on my to-do list. Then again, I love a book that I can relate to in parts, laugh through in others and easily breeze through for those short bursts of time that I actually have to read.

Last week I had the opportunity for a Q-and-A with Laura about parenting in NYC, and here’s what she said:

NYM: You’ve lived elsewhere, how has living in NYC affected your parenting style?

LB: Kids in New York come in contact with a lot of strangers everyday, in the subways and walking on the streets, so they have a different set of social skills than suburban kids. You have to talk a lot about the different type of people they encounter and how to handle them. In the end though, I find city kids to be tolerant and respectful of other’s circumstances.

NYM: So many couples decide to move to the suburbs after the second or third child arrives. What keeps you in the city?

LB: New York City is my lifeline. It makes me so happy to be out and about on the streets. I am afraid if I lived someplace else, I would be lost. With work and so many kids, most of my time is not my own, but the occasional hour I have to roam the garment district looking for fabric, or pop into a museum to see a mind blowing exhibit, makes that small amount of time energizing for me.

I also happen to think it is a great place to raise kids, especially teenagers because they are not driving. The biggest challenge is a financial one.

NYM: With six kids, are there NYC restaurants you visit as a family? What are your favorites to visit with your kids?

LB: Our group requires a quick in and out, before we’ve had a chance to bother any of the other guests, so we prefer diners. My kids love the classic Empire Diner on Eleventh Avenue.

NYM: In your book you mention finding your first Hermes bag at an upscale thrift shop; do you mind sharing a couple of your favorite Manhattan thrift shops you’ve visited over the years?

LB: I am a big Ebayer. You really have to be familiar with what you are buying, and if you are looking for something specific, you have to be patient, but I have yet to be disappointed. In New York my favorite store is Fisch For The Hip on 18^th Street. The second-hand Hermes bags are not cheap, but the selection is mind blowing, and if you are looking for a specific bag that they don’t have, the owner will track it down for you. She calls herself a “Bag Broker.”

NYM: You always look so fashionable, how do you handle your kids’ clothing choices? What fashion advice do you hope they take with them when they’re grown and on their own?

LB: I don’t get all up in my boys grille about what they wear. They usually look pretty scruffy, which probably makes me look good by comparison. We have a lot of hand me downs, and they seem fine with that. I do have an eight-year old son that has a suspicious interest in fashion, so he requires a bit of extra shopping, but for the most part they just find something that fits without too many holes.

NYM: You mention that there’s almost always someone playing video games in your home. Do you or your husband ever join your kids in playing? If so, which system do you like best: Playstation, XBox or Nintendo?

LB: We are definitely a Wii family. We have the system connected to a projector so the games take up an entire wall. My kids love the Resort Sports and Just Dance. I love the idea that they are not just sitting there. I actually had to build a platform for them to play on so all the jumping around wouldn’t bother our downstairs neighbor.

We used to have an XBox, but the kids were fighting in the car one day on out way back from the country and my husband put it on someone’s lawn, controllers, cords and all. Now we just have to say “XBox” and they work things out on their own. I think they fear for their cell phones. I don’t miss it at all. Some of the graphics are so realistic. I had little ones running through the room watching execution style murders. Even I draw the line there.

NYM: What do you use to accomplish everything: Blackberry, Droid or iPhone?

LB: I am so Blackberry. It makes working possible with all the running around that I do with the kids. I would probably be fine with an iPhone, I love the SAT vocabulary app, but my Blackberry works so well for me, I can’t get motivated to switch. We have an iTouch for the cool apps. I’m also counting the days until the iPad comes, but as much as I love all things Apple, I am tried and true Blackberry.

NYM: What mantra or vision gets you through stressful work/family life balance times today?

LB: I’m going to have to get cheesy on you here. I am actually so thankful for all the opportunities that I have, when I get stressed out, I just remind myself of that. I am also fortunate enough to be in a position where I don’t have to take on projects that I think I won’t enjoy. That is a major luxury.

I actually find the kids to be more stressful than work, so there I just remind myself how fast it all goes by. That little girl I moved to New York with fifteen years ago is about to graduate from college. There’s a real eye opener.

And if all that fails, a piece of Nicotine gum makes me eternally happy.

NYM: Do you ever look back on those initial “lean” years in NYC and wonder how you did it?

LB: When I was single and broke in New York I was where I wanted to be, so I was never unhappy. I didn’t grow up in a wealthy family, so I’ve always had a knack for making do, and being handy with a sewing machine got me pretty far. At the moment, I have more than I ever imagined, but I could do a financial 180 and still be happy.

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